I am in charge of deciding the fate of our family's cat. The cat is 13 years old he has failing kidneys if not totally failed ones. He is likely to be put to slleep in the next few days . The doctor has given me medicine to see if the kidney can be restarted.

The problem is I know what needs to be done and am willing to let it happen. I just wish I felt something rather than this damm lack of feeling. I was like this when mom died I was the person making the plans for her funeral as dad was injured in the same wreck.
I had to do all this while being clear headed and at times what I felt was unfeeling. I had little sleep, and even less time to worry about the lack of sleep.

I think I am posting this becuase I need to just get my feelings out here for me to see and maybe deal with.

Maybe it's just your mind and heart's way of dealing with what you have to deal with so you can make the decisions? Otherwise you couldn't do what needs to be done.

I'm really sorry about your cat...I know how that is. {{{{{{{{{{G1223}}}}}}}}}}

I'm so sorry, I know the feeling of losing a cat too. Luckily I did not have to make any of the decisions though, I can't imagine how hard that is. Try to enjoy whatever time you have left with your cat, and take some time to grieve yourself...

Sorry to hear about your cat.

{{{{{{{G1223}}}}}}}

Completely understand. About a year and half ago, we faced the same decision for our elder kitty who was about 15 years old. He started losing lots of weight, would meow as if in pain, wouldn't/couldn't eat or go bathroom. We took him to the vet who discovered he had a tremendous tumor wrapped around his intestines. He was going to die sooner or later but we decided that our kitty was suffering enough already and had him put to sleep.

It was strange. We took him to the vet to see what was wrong with him and left without him...I understand the "feeling nothing" part and all my condolences and sympathy is with you & your fam.

I feel for you. Don't think of yourself as unfeeling. It is the mind's self defense mechanism (sp?). Breathe, let yourself remember the good times. Remember, that if your pet was in the wild it would probably crawl away to die. Don't kick yourself for doing what is humane for your pet. Is it suffering?

{{{{{{{{{{G!}}}}}}}}}}

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"Who ARE you?"
"NO one of consequence."
"I MUST know!"
"Get used to disappointment."
"alright."

First of all, even numbness IS a feeling, and you know what? You are entitled to feel WHATEVER it is you are feeling. You've gone through a lot of hell in the last year and you've had to be strong for others.

Do what you need to do.

Then take a day, go off somewhere, and be just with yourself, and give yourself permission to mourn....for everything.

Letting go sounds scary I know but I know you....you won't fall part. Just give yourself permission to let go and you *will* bounce back.

Lil

My faithful dog of my teen years was put to sleep because of her kidneys (and dang I have tears still coming to my eyes over this) after I'd dropped mom off at the vets with Missy, I had to go work at a convenient store. Believe me people act very strange when you take their money and you are bawling like a baby.

Then I had to do this with a tortoise shell cat that I had around the house. She had been severely mauled by a pit bull. That one was also tragic.

I'm probably going to have to do the same thing with my cocker spaniel, Maggie.

{{{{{{{{G}}}}}}}}}}

I understand.

You aren't the only one who has felt numb reguarding to a death. When we had to put down my cocker I felt guilty for not feeling anything, but like Lil said, numbness IS a feeling and you are entitled to feel what whatever you are feeling, just take your time and when you are ready, take some time by yourself and mourn. My condolences for you cat.

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Elf Prince of Mirkwood: Legolas Greenleaf, oldest living member of the Commenwealth (WHAT?!? I'm an elf!I can't die!)

Oh no that happened to my cat too! It was horrid!

It was a long time ago but I remember it vividly.

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Deeply smitten with Brent Stait
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Scathach-Third Mate to XT the Eloquent , Dashing,and Formidable Warrior of Pride Tyrant.
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Ilana-The Shy But Feisty Ferret Girl.Future Second Mate to Griff The Great And Powerful Alpha Of Chimera Pride.
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I too feel numb when faced with death. And I felt guility when I couldn't cry at my Grandmother's funeral. I wanted to but I couldn't.